Dave’s Killer Bread
Widen your breadth
Complexity is killer, and sophistication is not rocket science. Even a single slice of Dave’s Killer Bread is chock full of complex carbs, nuts and grains, and personality. It’s time we all develop something of a complexity complex.
01
Brigit Mendler
Former child actor and current high scholar and business exec Bridgit Mendler will pose as the spokesperson for our campaign, epitomizing the fact that absolutely anyone can be more than meets the eye.
02
H2Oh?
Dave’s Killer Bread issues a public apology in the New York Times for their continued use of Dihydrogen Monoxide (aka regular old water) in their bread. “It’s complicated,” says a Dave’s spokesperson, “but we wanted to set the record straight and keep our fans in the loop.”
The brand does not appear to be willing to halt use of H2O in their products, though. “Folks will just have to be okay with the fact that we are who we are, and we’re not gonna just change to improve public opinion.”
03
Bitcoin for bread
Inflation is made up, and money isn’t real. Heavily complex economic principles DON’T in fact deter us from bringing our bread to the people, so for a limited time, we’re accepting all forms of payment equivalent to $1.99 USD when you buy Dave’s Killer Bread directly from our website. Prove to us with whatever complicated means of conversion you gotta show, and we’ll send ya the bread in exchange.
04
A really really hard puzzle
No real picture to make, no edge pieces, and no hints in sight. This puzzle is complicated just for the sake of being complicated.
Complete it and send proof to Dave’s on social, and we’ll get you half off a monthly subscription to sliced bread for the next 6 months.
05
Dave’s Swiss Roll Knife
Every possible bread tool rolled all up into one. Butter pad spreader, serrated bread knife, mini-scissor to open that tough package of cheese, crust cutter, jam spoon, what have you. THE WORKS.
06
Dave’s Killer Sandwich
Dave’s is partnering with the most extra complex gas station/electric charger/convenience store/pit stop in the country: Buc ee’s.
Grab yourself a famous Dave’s Killer Sandwich from the Buc ee’s Texas Roundup counter next time you stop in.
07
Daves kill the world’s
longest word
The most complex word in the english language is a 189,819 letter behemoth denoting the largest compound in the human body. So you’re saying we’re all complex, even down the chemical level?
To honor all of our complex peeps, we’re gonna have three famous Daves (David Attenborough, Dave Grohl, and Dave Franco) say the word in its entirety, and stream it on IG live. That’s over three hours of straight word saying. Good work Daves.
CW: Pablo M. Rodriguez
AD: Jessie Lynch & Kelly Kemp